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Buy the Field 

In Jeremiah 32 we find Jerusalem under siege by Babylon and the people of God suffering due to their own sin. We find Jeremiah imprisoned in the court of the guard, apprehended for His faithfulness to speak the Word of the Lord to power.

The word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord in the tenth year of King Zedekiah of Judah, which was the eighteenth year of Nebuchadrezzar. 2 At that time the army of the king of Babylon was besieging Jerusalem, and the prophet Jeremiah was confined in the court of the guard that was in the palace of the king of Judah…Jeremiah said, the Word of the Lord came to me…buy my field…”

For the whole month of September I have been with the weeping prophet, Jeremiah, and a lamenting psalmist, in passages that are sobering, disturbing and a bit wearying. I have journeyed in the Fathers’ love in Jeremiah 2:6 where, God said through Jeremiah, “I brought you into a bountiful country, to eat its fruit and its goodness but you defiled My land…the priests did not say, Where is the Lord? and those who handle the law did not know Me…For my people have committed two evils, they have forsaken Me, as the fountain of living waters and hewn themselves cisterns that can hold no water.” In Psalm 81, “Oh that my people would listen to Me, that Israel would walk in My ways.” Psalm 14, “The Lord looks down upon the children of men to see if there are any who understand who seek God. They have all turned aside…” and in Jeremiah 18, the Potters house passage, we are confronted with our tendency to think we should be the potter and not the clay. God says, “Can I not do with you as the potter does with the clay? Because my people have forgotten Me, they have burned incense to worthless idols.”

It’s tempting to read these texts and have a “them and us” posture. To think, “Good thing I haven’t forsaken God!” Or, “I understand He’s the potter and I’m the clay. I’m good with that.” But we dare not distance ourselves from the text and miss the call of God to see ourselves as we really are.

I am convinced, that I don’t know myself, and therefore, I don’t know God, as I think I do.

Thomas Merton, was a Trappist Monk who lived in our very own Gethsemani Abbey here in Kentucky. In his book: Seeds, he says:

“The deep secrecy of my own being is often hidden from me by my own estimate of what I am. My idea of what I am is falsified by my admiration for what I do. And my illusions about myself are bred by contagion from the illusions of other men. We all seek to imitate one another’s imagined greatness…Every one of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false-self. This is the person that I want to be but who cannot exist, because God does not know anything about him/her….without bothering to question the deep mystery of our own identity, (our true self) we fabricate a trifling and impertinent identity (a false-self) for ourselves with the bare scraps of experience that we find lying within immediate reach.”

The false-self cannot rightly interpret the reality of our life or what God is doing. I bet if I had been on the ground in Jerusalem back when Jeremiah was prophesying and talked to the average Israelite, they would not think they had forgotten God or turned away from Him. Most would have justified themselves with the same false-self structures that you and I devise, mostly unconsciously. Then when they are besieged they are appalled, offended and accusatory to God that such a thing might happen to them! Just like we are.

Oh that we would recognize the kindness of God to deal with what is false in us and to pursue our true self. The kindness to uncover us and expose what we can’t see hidden in the depths of our hearts. The journey into the heart of God is a treacherous one. We will not get there falsely.

This is a significant day for me and Joel. 31 years ago today, September 29, 1988, Joel and I welcomed our daughter, and first child, Mikal Amanda McKenzie into our world. I became a mother for the first time. It was the best day of my life at that point. I’ve had a few other best days, each time one of our children entered our world. But Mikal was the one who made me a mother, she was a beautiful red headed little girl with milky white skin and crystal blue eyes. She was a little songbird and gentle of spirit. I was honored to be her mother. I had always wanted to be a mother. I felt completely fulfilled and encountered a love previously unknown to me.

I would have said at that time, that I was a “good” Christian, too. My faith was important to me and I believed in God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I went to church faithfully, read my Bible, prayed.

When Mikal was 10 months old she was diagnosed with a terminal illness called Hurlers Syndrome. There was a twenty-five percent chance that any child we conceived would be afflicted. I was seven months pregnant with our son. We wouldn’t know if he was ok until after he was born. One doctor suggested we end the pregnancy. Mikal was missing a necessary enzyme for life. This disease would prevent proteins strains in her body from breaking down to the point that they could be either utilized by her body or eliminated. Therefore they would store in all her bodies connective tissue, causing organs to be enlarged until taxed beyond limits. She would progress normally for a period of time, plateau in her development and growth, and then digress losing whatever she had gained until ultimately, she would die, probably from heart failure. This disease affected her physical form and disfigured her more and more as time went by. There is no treatment, no cure. Most children with this disease live to be four or five.

In August 1999, when the diagnosis came, we were besieged.

Now, was I in open rebellion to God? No. Did I have idols? Didn’t think so. Was I in complete obedience and suffering for the gospel? Well, no, don’t think that’s why this happened. Was this just an attack of the enemy? That must be it! That’s the easiest answer and fits the false-self narrative well. “Mean devil! Why did you do this to me? It’s an attack!” But it’s not that simple, I’ve learned. That position gives him way more power than he actually has. And without saying it out right, implies we are more righteous than we actually are. He does nothing outside the will of God. He is in opposition to the will of God, yet still under and within the power of God. I don’t blame the devil much any more. I can get to hell on my own. Not to say he isn’t active. He is, but ultimately he’s a tool. He can hinder, thwart, disrupt, discourage, I get that, but I don’t look his way these days. Was it a result of living in a fallen world? That one, I could say, “Yes” to, but it’s not as simple as that either. I’m in relationship with the living God and although under the curse, I am set free from it, can overcome in His name and rise above. Rise above however, doesn’t mean I’m impervious to the effects of the curse.

Beloved, we all have false selves hidden from our awareness…until we are besieged.

We don’t see the jealousy that justifies the back biting and nit-picking we do to one another. We don’t recognize fear as lack of faith. And everything not of faith is sin. We believe more lies than we realize and don’t believe the Truth as much as we think we do. We are blind to the trust we put in our education, our money, our perfect family image, our reputation. I sure didn’t see them in my life. But they were there. Even as I was the good religious girl, always trying to do what was “right.”

Then I was besieged.

I know now, it wasn’t in the fury of God, or the absence of God that this happened. It was in the mercy of an omniscient God who can see what I cannot see in me and in my sincere yet immature heart cry to be fully His, He uses what’s at His disposal, which is everything, even the tragedy of a fallen world event, like a terminal illness, to answer the deepest cry of my heart. And in the power of His love He comes to get me, the real me.

In this crushing time, over 8 years of loving my beautiful girl, as she was taken from us bit by bit with much suffering, multiple surgeries, multiple “almost losing her” experiences, many disappointments and much oppression, I was delivered bit by bit from a religious construct and false-self and met the God-man Jesus, who I fell in love with, was filled with the Holy Spirit and in the besieging, I found life, real life.

I call Mikal, my Moses. God used her to lead me out of bondage to the wilderness so as to capture my whole heart and bring me into real relationship with the living God. I don’t think He caused her disease, but I do believe that He used it for my good and His glory. He is the Potter. I am clay in His loving hands. And the process continues. I am in battles now, I wish I wasn’t and still things in my heart not congruent with Christ are emerging and I am shocked when I see them. I still don’t know myself fully, nor Him. But He is relentless in His pursuit of me, the real me.

So what am I saying? We get messed up in our perspectives of what’s happening in our life because we assume out of our false-self and misinterpret what God is doing. We say things like, “Why would God let this happen to me?” Or, “If God is good, why would He let this bad thing happen or not let this good thing come?” As if we are mature in love, don’t have any idols or false security systems or misplaced trust. If we could see and know all that God does, we would receive these hard things differently, trusting that He is absolutely going to answer our hearts cry to love and be loved. Beloved, we have no idea what that means or how to get there on our own. The fullness of love is manifest for us in the cross. We are on the way to the cross of Christ, so as to go into the tomb and be resurrected true, real.

Most, if not all, of us are not in open rebellion to God. But in the depths of our beings, we are still in process and in the mercy of God He uses events and circumstances, big or small, to reveal truth about ourselves to ourselves so that we indeed can be perfected in love. It takes suffering to learn obedience not because we are outwardly openly disobedient, but because inwardly, hiddenly we are and we don’t know it. We must adopt the posture of the psalmist that cries out, “O God, search me and know me. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalm 91 was the psalm I was in all week, specifically this portion:

“He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, My God, in Him I will trust.” Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the arrow that flies by day. Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.”

I was confused by this passage for a long time, because it just didn’t seem true. I thought I was dwelling in God, abiding. But I was besieged. I was ripped apart and bleeding out and the perilous pestilence and the snare of the fowler did come near me, a thousand didn’t fall at my side, they fell on me, my whole tent was caving in…I thought.

But I was wrong. I came to see that I visited His dwelling some, but didn’t really live there. And I also realized that the real me, the true essence of who I am and who He created me to be was protected as I turned to God again and again, dwelling more and more in His presence, in the midst of the besieging, even though terrible things were happening. In the process of deconstructing all my false structures, my heart was being set free to be loved by God and to love.

Let me give you a couple of examples,

I remember sometime in the first year after Mikal was diagnosed, feeling that God was this high, far away God up on His throne and I was this little nothing down on earth that He didn’t even really see. That thought came up in my heart for day after day. (What caused it to surface, you ask? Besieging)

One night when I was particularly griped with this thought, I had a dream. In my dream, God was up on this grand throne far, far away and I was dying down below, tiny and unnoticed. But then in my dream, I saw Him get up and descend. He came to me, into my world, my city, my house, my bedroom, and then I saw myself in my bed right as I lay at that very moment and Jesus was standing right beside me with His hand on my shoulder. He was near, so, so near. God was with me. He awake while I slept. He watching, caring, protecting, close. I had gone to bed in a lie and I awoke in the Truth of God’s nearness to me. It became a shield and a buckler for me. Now if you had asked me before this happened, if I believed that God had come near in Jesus and that He was with me, I would have answered, “Yes, I believe that.” But I really didn’t. I thought I did. I didn’t know I didn’t believe it. Besieging ferreted it out. I believe it now, truly. I never entertained that lie again. It’s gone. Something false fell that night.

Oh, the mercy of God to deliver me from the snare of the fowler, to give His angels charge over me, for His Truth to become my shield and buckler.

Mikal lived to be nine and a half. She went from my arms to the arms of Jesus on June 13, 1998. After Mikal died, when I got home from her funeral, I wept every day, all day. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t leave my house and I didn’t care. I was covered up in grief. After thirty days of constant grieving, while on the floor in my living room, I heard the Lord speak clearly to my heart, “Jo, your time of mourning is over, go out and reenter your world today.” And after I heard it, the Holy Spirit helped me and I realized that Jesus died to take my grief and I was convicted that I was not to hold onto anything that Jesus died to take for me. I didn’t realize it at that moment, but I’ve come to see that even grief can become an idol. It is not an exaggeration to say, that had He not told me to end the time of mourning, I could still this day be a puddle on my living room floor. I was being slowly swallowed up by something false. On that day, I confessed my sin, got up, literally off my living room floor, dressed, and I ventured out of my house. I went to my mailbox. All I could do. It was the first time I had been out of my house in a month.

I did not get the sense that God was saying, “Get over it.” But rather, don’t let this consume you. Don’t embrace this identity. It’s a false one. And the day I obeyed His voice to go out, it broke something false being built in me, that had it not, might have become a prison. That’s a perspective I gained over time, but on that day, I simply obeyed. Psalm 91 says, “He will be with us in trouble. He will delivers and honor us.” He will! In the midst of my pain and loss, God protected my true self, revealed another construct I was allowing to be built in my life swallowing me in grief and He kept my life. Thanks be to God.

God didn’t do what I had asked Him to do. He didn’t heal Mikal like I wanted, so that she would be with me today, telling of His miraculous power in her life. But He did heal her. And He did deliver me. Hope is alive in me. I’ve shared a tiny slice of my story, but the final chapter hasn’t been read…it’s written though.

The passage in Jeremiah 32, releases hope in the midst of the besieging, in the midst of being imprisoned, the Lord says to Jeremiah, “buy the field.”

6 Jeremiah said, The word of the Lord came to me: ‘Buy my field for the right of possession and redemption is yours; buy it for yourself.’… And I bought the field…I signed the deed, sealed it, got witnesses, and weighed the money on scales. Then I took the sealed deed of purchase, containing the terms and conditions, and the open copy; and…I put them in an earthenware jar, in order that they may last for a long time. For thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Houses and fields and vineyards shall again be bought in this land.

I was so ready to get to a passage of hope in Jeremiah! Finally we get to a place where we hear the Lord say to Jeremiah to go buy the land. We can hope! There will come a time again to build houses, plant vineyards, own land. This besieging and captivity will not last forever.

As Jeremiah, signed the deed, had it witnessed and placed it in an earthenware vessel to protect it and keep it safe, so we as earthen vessels hold onto the promises of God in the midst of our suffering. We wait for the hope that is sure. He will bring absolute restoration, reconciliation, reunion and rejoicing. I reach up by faith to live in that reality.

When we find ourselves besieged: we must humble ourselves and run into the refuge of God. Whatever the reason for the besieging, it really matters little, the right response is always, “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress. My God, in Him, I will trust.”

Beloved, believe God’s promises though yet unfulfilled and not manifest and buy the field, make it public by professing your faith and protect it as long as it takes. Don’t doubt, hold onto His promises.

I “buy the field,” every time I say, “My daughter is alive in Christ, and I will see her again.” I “buy the field” when I say, “He did heal her!” I “buy the field” when I say, “He delivered me from the fowlers snare.” I “buy the field” when I say, “Jesus is coming soon and the dead in Christ will be raised.”

Because of Jesus, a time is coming when every wrong will be made right. God will dwell with us as it was meant to be from the Garden – without pain, sorrow, loss. Only life, gain, joy, health. Buy the field, beloved.

May we yield to the Fatherhood of God in all it’s goodness, may we fight the good fight of the faith, may we take hold of eternal life, which is truly life. He who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, to Him be honor and eternal dominion now and forevermore. Amen

By

Resolve

Scripture References for this article: II Kings 2:1-2,6-14; Luke 9:51-62 and Galatians 5:1,13-25

In my early life, raised in a legalistic background, being good and “checking the boxes” was the culture, and it fit my personality nicely. I’m a rule follower. I find security in the black and white of law. I know the pull between standing firm in my freedom from law and being enslaved again to my perceived comfort under the law. I believed the lie that by controlling myself, by educating myself, by being “good,” I could produce a life which would slowly evolve into the life of God. But as Oswald Chambers has taught me, we find, as we go along, the presence of something which we have not taken into consideration: SIN. Sin upsets all our calculations. The climax of sin is that it crucified Jesus Christ, and what was true in the history of God on earth will be true in your history and in mine. There will be a crucifixion…either sin will be crucified in me or sin will crucify me.

Galatians 5:16 says: Live by the Spirit, I say, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For what the flesh desires is opposed to the Spirit, and what the Spirit desires is opposed to the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not subject to the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these. I am warning you, as I warned you before: those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Two questions arise as I sit with these verses: What is the flesh? and How do I crucify it? Denise Levertov, an American Poet, has a poem entitled: “On the Mystery of the Incarnation.” One line of it was included in a book I am currently reading and I think portrays the flesh accurately. Listen for it: 

It’s when we face for a moment
the worst our kind can do, 
and shudder to know the taint in our own selves, that awe
cracks the minds shell and enters the heart:
not to a flower, not to a dolphin, 
to no innocent form
but to this creature 
vainly sure it and no other is god-like, God
(out of compassion for our ugly failure to evolve) entrusts,
as guest, as brother,
The Word.

Our flesh, as best I understand it now, is that “vain creature thinking itself god-like.” It resides deep within me. All the flesh-works Paul listed, we want to think of as things “only the worst our kind can do,” but their source flows from the murky stream of thought within each one of us that we are god-like. In a cursory reading, I find myself almost skipping over the horrible words used to describe works of the flesh, distancing myself from those “sins,” as my vain creature subtly tells me, “you don’t do that!” We must recognize the “taint in our own selves,” the desire to be in control, to lead verses follow; to reason verses to obey what we don’t fully understand. The works of the flesh are those things we do as a result of taking matters into our own hands, navigating our own lives without full surrender to the Lordship of Jesus – His Spirit. And the list is endless. The “taint in our selves,” when we recognize it, strikes awe as a crack reveals our heart and we realize it’s not pretty or playful or innocent…we come face to face with the vain creature and realize it must die.

How do I crucify the flesh? As I meditated on the passages, I realized that Jesus did not crucify Himself. He laid His life down and willingly allowed Himself to be crucified. We see a snapshot of this in Luke 9:51, “…when the days drew near for Him to be taken up, He set His face to go to Jerusalem.” He made a choice. He set His face. Jesus resolved to be crucified. His crucifixion began long before He felt the nails, in that He resolved to allow it. I believe He resolved before He ever became a baby in Mary’s womb. In this passage, we see through a window of insight a key component of life in the Spirit…resolve. To set your face…to resolve is to stare squarely into the face of that vain creature and say definitively “NO. You are not god-like. I have found the Savior and He is God.” Resolve is a conscious effort directed to prevent circumstances which tend to draw us back, from producing their effect. We see this played out in 2 Kings 2:1-2,6-14. Elijah and Elisha are heading to the place where Elijah will be swept away in the whirlwind of God. Catch the resolve in Elisha. Three different times, Elijah was giving him a way out, a way to stay back from having to face their separation and the monumental change his life was about to take, the pain and grief he was going to feel, the uncertainty and challenges before him, and Elisha resolutely declares… three times (vs: 2, 4, 6) “As the Lord lives, and as you yourself live, I will not leave you.” Resolve. Beautiful. Elisha had burned his plow and sacrificed his oxen – He had surrendered life as he knew it and the way he had operated for the entirety of his life up to that point when Elijah called him. He resolved to go with Elijah and serve him. He made a clean break from his former life, never to return to it. He followed Elijah serving him to the very end and then taking up and continuing in that same lifestyle until his death. What a picture of resolve in the life of the Spirit. Our decision to follow Jesus is the beginning of our crucifixion of the flesh, not the culmination of it. At the end of Luke 9, three different people are beginning to follow Jesus. In verse 57 the first person said: “I will follow you wherever you go.” Jesus’ response that “foxes have holes, birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no where to lay His head” immediately challenges this ones motives and possible misconceptions. In my interpretation Jesus says: You say you will follow me, but understand, I’m not going to suddenly arrive at a palatial earthly abode to rule and reign as you surmise. I’m not going to overthrow the Roman government and establish power and authority as you hope. I am going to be crucified. Are you willing to die to your own understanding of what following me will mean? He challenges the flesh. To the second, Jesus says, “Follow Me.” This one’s reply: Lord, LET ME FIRST go bury my Father (do what I think I need to do first). The third one said, “I will follow you, Lord, but LET ME FIRST say farewell to those at home (do what seems best to me). Do you hear the flesh asserting itself with “let me first?” If we believe that Jesus is Lord, at the moment the Lord is calling us to come, would He not know what all we have going at home? Doesn’t it strike a creature tone of vain god-likeness to tell the Lord, “let me first go and see about this or that? Even good things like a fathers funeral or closure can be opposition to The Spirit. Very few of us debate with the evil and wrong, but we do debate with the good. It is the good that hates the best, and the higher up you get in the scale of the natural virtues, the more intense is the opposition to Jesus Christ. Jesus said – “If any man will be My disciple, let him deny himself.” That means his right to himself. To follow Him, from the beginning, means our flesh and His Spirit will go to war. We will be given opportunity to yield allowing Him to kill that vain creature thinking itself god-like deep within us…also called independence. The opposing between the Spirit and the flesh is about who’s FIRST. God or me? The sins of the flesh Paul listed are manifestations of a “let me first” way of living. There has to be a killing…a crucifying. To crucify the flesh is to give Jesus dominion. We resolve to follow Christ, Who then takes our flesh and by the Holy Spirit, enables us to be crucified, step by step, as we follow Him. Jesus will bring us to Calvary. The One Who resolved to go, never wavered and was faithful to the end will be triumphant. You can count on Him. I must resolve to allow Him to do it and be in agreement with Him in His way of doing it. That’s the first step.

If the flesh and Spirit are opposed to each other…and we are to be guided by the Spirit, how might that look? Looking back into the earlier parts of Luke 9, we see the followers of Jesus living life with Him and situation by situation we see flesh and Spirit opposing each other. They had resolved to follow him. They had taken the first step. Lk 9:28 records the Transfiguration – Jesus took Peter, James and John and they had a “mountain top experience.” While amazing, it was unsettling. Jesus was dazzling, Moses and Elijah were there! In the presence of God our flesh starts rattling and deconstructing and we have to “do” something! They injected their own thoughts into the situation wanting to build tents and make it last. God says, (basically) “Shhh, listen to Him!” Does that sound like flesh verses Spirit to you? The next day, Jesus tells them that He was “going to be betrayed into human hands.” He wants them to “let these words sink into your ears” (in other words, don’t dismiss them, don’t refuse to consider them.) They did not understand and instead of asking Jesus more about it, they were afraid and didn’t say anything. How human is that!? What were they afraid of? Not of Jesus, but of hearing something they didn’t want to hear, consider, or have to face? Clash. Next, they begin to argue amongst themselves about who is the greatest. Sometimes when we are stirred up about one thing, we get cross-wise about another; our flesh-way of not dealing with what we just heard by distracting ourselves with something else. What might the argument have sounded like? Peter, James and John: …well He took us with Him up the mountain, and we can’t really talk about what happened there…wink wink. Must mean we are the greatest. Judas: He entrusts me with the money…I must be pretty great. Philip: He told me I was pure and without deceit. Peter and Andrew: He called us first. John again: Well I’m the one He loves! Whatever! FLESH. Jesus heard their thoughts and addressed their pride, their power struggle (the flesh can’t hide from the Spirit). He taught them, taking a child in His arms, that the least among them is the greatest. Can you hear the clashing of flesh and Spirit there? The apostles, scratching their heads, saying, ‘What? I thought greatness was this, and Jesus is saying it’s being the least? They then encounter someone casting out demons in the name of Jesus. The them-verses-us mentality of the flesh, prompted them to go stop this one that wasn’t “one of us.” Jesus told them to do the opposite. “No, don’t stop him. If he’s not against you, he is for you.” Flesh and Spirit opposed to each other: clash, clang, bam. All this had gone on just a day or two prior to Luke 9:51. When the village of the Samaritans rejected Jesus coming there, we see James and John reacting by wanting to call fire down and destroy them. They took offense and anger erupted toward those closed to what they were about. Jesus rebuked James and John, not the Samaritans. CLASH. It did not matter whether He was received or rejected, His mission was the same and the Samaritans would not deter Him. He was on His way to Jerusalem for the Samaritans too. So, Jesus walked on unoffended but resolved toward Jerusalem. Do we see ourselves in the battle between flesh and Spirit? I do! There are times I emerge from my prayer office after having spent time with God, come downstairs full and run head on into a situation when my agenda, how I think things should play out is threatened, so I get angry. Or, times when I am hearing the Lord say some things to me that I don’t really want to hear, so I close up, and pretend it away, hoping it will fade into the wind and not blow back on me again. I argue. I have vied for power in a relationship. I have had a me-verses-them mentality. I am often unsettled and restless, unsure, hiding, reactive and processing all the while trying to follow Jesus. The clash between flesh and Spirit is real and we are in it. HOWEVER, in everyone one of these scenarios we just briefly visited, we see Jesus present, dealing with each one in strong love. He is with His people, leading, guiding, correcting, rebuking, teaching. His faithfulness to them is remarkable…stunningly beautiful. And they continued to follow, obeying and being corrected. Were they being led by Christ? Yes. Were they in the flesh? Yes. It’s not going to be one or the other, until the new earth. For now, we are in the battle. As Jesus guided His disciples while on earth, so the Spirit of Christ guides us today. And that’s the huge relief and joy of it all, they were being guided by Christ, and each time the Spirit and flesh were opposed, they (well most) yielded to the Spirit and some of their flesh was crucified. They were being transformed, step by step…choice by choice. We must be teachable, lean His way and allow the Spirit access and we will be transformed too. We yield to His correction and in the process our flesh is crucified and His fruit is grown. You can be in the presence of Jesus and not yield. You have been given freedom to choose, but choose you must. C.S.Lewis said, “Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before…all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish creature.” Each of us, each moment, is progressing to the one state or the other. It’s a journey…and its a choice. We resolve to follow Jesus, to allow our flesh to be crucified, to live by the Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit is produced; grown in the ashes of burning flesh. The Divine Gardner is at work in the garden of our hearts – mind, soul, spirit, body. We brush up against His weeding, His pruning, His correcting, His rebuking, His feeding, as we follow Him and He is present with us, crucifying our flesh and growing His fruit. What we are looking for in the life of the Spirit, is resolve to go His way when we feel the clash. Resolve to say “no” to the vain creature thinking itself god-like and “yes” to the Spirit, Who is God. We will not walk perfectly, but we can walk free. And we will win the battle, by His grace. May God strengthen our resolve to follow Him. In the Name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. Amen

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BE A SYMBOL

Do you know what season we are in on the Christian calendar? The  season of Epiphany. Churches following the calendar have been reading passages of people who had an epiphany, like Isaiah in Isaiah 6 and Peter in Luke 5. Some might ask, “What is an epiphany?” Epiphany “refers to a visible and frequently sudden manifestation of a hidden divinity either in the form of a personal appearance, or by some deed of power or oracular communication by which its presence is made known.” Or, more simply put, moments when the hidden divinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,  manifests and we suddenly realize we are in God’s Presence. He is with us. We come to know something of God we didn’t know before, we have an “aha” moment, a light comes on for us.

I had an epiphany many years ago. My first three children were small and running around my feet.  Our oldest daughter had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and my world had been shattered. I was searching for God in ways I had not previously and, on this day, suddenly God’s Presence filled the room. Jesus came into my living room and I realized and said out loud to myself, “HE’S ALIVE.  JESUS IS REALLY ALIVE!” What I had read and believed in my Bible, what I had been taught, I came to know in the depths of my being with a knowledge that was beyond information. It was experiential and transformational. I perceived Him as truly with me. He was stunningly beautiful and strong. Epiphany! I didn’t even know this word back then, but it happened, one of the most true experiences of my life. I was filled with the Holy Spirit and overflowed with joy and love. I said to Him then (and still say today), “I’ll go wherever you say go. I’ll do whatever you say do. Just let me be with You. I just want to be with You.”

God’s Presence, the manifestation of His hidden divinity with me, changed my life. I have never been the same. In an epiphany, the reality of God breaks through the less true realities spun like a web by culture, sin and faithlessness (among other things) and what is most real, most true, God’s Presence, is manifest.

My friend Ben Snyder, an Anglican priest, recently shared that what is remarkable about an epiphany is that God does not arrive where He was not present before, He was already present. He does not show up and begin to address our needs, He has already been actively engaged and working without our awareness. Epiphany is not about God finally swooping in to rescue, but rather it is about us finally seeing that He is present among us. Recognizing God’s Presence with us changes everything. When we realize we are in God’s Presence, we come to a deeper understanding of our unworthiness and sin; God intervenes on our behalf to strengthen and restore us; and transformation takes place enabling us to become witnesses to God’s deep love for the world. The world needs an epiphany.

Sanctuary is a ministry of attending to the Presence of God. The living God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is active and near to each one, but most don’t know it. Most live unaware of this central reality. When we come and worship God, pray to God, rest in God, we are saying to the world, God is present, God matters, God is worthy. By maintaining a space in the heart of our city for God alone, we stand as a symbol that God owns it all and everything ultimately is to be for Him, about Him and unto Him. By giving God attention, we are saying He is the worthy One; by crying out to Him, we are saying He is the Source and only Answer. Our listening to His voice trumpets the message that He is the Way, the Truth, the Life for the whole world. We bear witness to the central reality of hidden divinity, God’s Presence.

It might not sound that exciting to be a symbol. But symbols speak! Urban T. Holmes III in Spirituality for Ministry says this about symbols: “We need to remind ourselves repeatedly that to classify something as a symbol does not make it less real, as our culture often thinks; rather we are designating it as a central image in our reality.”

To believers in Jesus Christ, the reality of a hidden divinity, cultivating awareness of the often unseen Presence of God with us, is a central image in our reality. Symbolizing life lived in the Presence of Christ, whether seen or unseen, and ordering our lives because of this true reality is the bullseye of our target, our aim.

Cultivating awareness of God’s Presence as symbol through worship, prayer, rest becomes cultivating awareness of God’s Presence as a way of seeing and living in the world.

For Sanctuary, our target is cultivating awareness of God; practicing God’s Presence; consistently living open to God; acknowledging God; paying attention to God; worshiping God; listening to God; crying out to God; thanking God; waiting on God; surrendering to God; rejoicing in God; watching for God. No one can create an epiphany. It’s a gift from God. But for those of us who have experienced the revelation of God’s Presence with us, we can live out of it. That’s the symbol: People living out of the Presence of God, not apart from it.  

We live as a symbol of what we value. When a mother of small children stops in the midst of all the chaos around her and turns to God, obeys Him when it doesn’t make sense, worships Him when the tears of pain fall, becomes a symbol to the children watching of the way to live in a reality not easily seen, but nevertheless absolutely real, valid and life giving. She symbolizes the bullseye in the target of life, that God is present with us, that God knows, God hears, God heals. She intercedes for them by being a symbol that designates the central reality of life: God, seen or unseen, is present. She makes a way for them to do the same.

When the college student in the dorm, stressed and unsure or confident and clear, worships or prays while his roommates sleep or play video games, it symbolizes to all who would see, a central image in our reality, that God is present to guide, enable, bring peace.  He intercedes as a symbol showing a way of life, the reality of a hidden divinity present, at work and true.

Now, what if that mother or college student or business person or ministry leader or city worker (you fill in the blank) walked to a central space in the heart of their city to turn to God, to worship God, to listen to God. They now become a symbol for those outside of their own personal space, designating as a central image in their reality to townspeople, known or unknown to them, lost or saved, that God is present and in HIM we live and move and have our being. People who see them week after week, month after month, coming to a place and spending time, resources, energy, worshiping God, praying to God, drawing near to God, resting in His Presence, opening to God, listening to God are offered a light, a way of living radically different from what culture magnifies. They now become a symbol to a dying world that life is to be lived in God, in that hidden divinity of His Presence.

What if those people (the mother, college student, etc.) all went to different churches, held to different Christian faith traditions, who on the nuances of their faith might disagree, came to the same place in the heart of the city and worshiped God together, prayed together, rested in His presence together, blessed and welcomed each other in Christian fellowship, recognizing that we are really on the same team? They become a symbol to the Body of Christ of a central and true reality that God’s people in God’s Presence are empowered to love for one another. Their very act of coming to a space for God alone is intercession for the church. It could also be a means of healing for the world, which is still waiting to see us love one another, both within and between our churches. God’s reality is, “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations.”

And even better, what if this mother, college student, banker or baker were of different races, genders, nationalities? What if their differences were made subservient to the Presence of God, and they came together in the central space and worshiped God, prayed together, rested in God’s presence together, discussed truth together. This would designate a central symbol of Kingdom reality: in God’s Presence, there is neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female, slave nor free. What intercession would that be! How powerful a witness is a symbol!

The Sanctuary exists to draw attention toward, back, up, to God and God alone, because He is our reality. Living out of awareness, openness, attention to God is the way of life; saying by our lives: I am God’s own, we are God’s possession. As much as Sanctuary is for any individual who wants to come here for personal, alone time with God, what I want for us to see and understand is that you are never coming here for only you. The Sanctuary is a symbol of the central reality of a hidden divinity: God’s Presence with us. Others see, watch. This will one day be manifest on earth as it is in heaven.

So, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good, come to Him, a living stone, though rejected by mortals yet chosen and precious in God’s sight. Like living stones, let yourselves be built into a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ…you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

 Cultivate your awareness of God.  Live out of the hidden divinity of God’s Presence.  Be a symbol.

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God Gave Us A Baby!

My dear friends, let us love each other, since love is from God and everyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.  Whoever fails to love does not know God, because God is love.  This is the revelation of God’s love for us, that God sent His only Son into the world that we might have life through Him.  Love consists in this: it is not we who loved God, but God loved us and sent His Son to expiate our sins. I John 4:7-10

The reality of the love of God, manifest in a manger is what we celebrate this Christmas Day: The Birth, The Coming of the Christ-child.  God loved the world (meaning you and me) so much that He sent His Son to and for us.  His love that floods cannot drown, many waters cannot quench, His love that is stronger than death was first revealed in a baby.  God gave us a baby.  How do we respond to a baby?  What erupts in our hearts when we see a baby is first a delightful drawing – we always step toward a baby, we notice, we want to see, don’t we? Secondly,  a wondrous warming – babies elicit interest, excitement, and tenderness. Thirdly, spontaneous joy.  We can’t help but smile and want to engage with this little life.  God’s a genius. He gives us His Baby, the most non-threatening, gentle, non-intimidating  gift – making it remarkably easy for us to receive His love.  As a  baby, the Love of God draws, warms and evokes joy in deep places in us almost without effort.  Like a planted seed,  as we receive the love of God in the given Baby,we grow to love the Son at 12 who must be about His Fathers business, as The Baby grows within our hearts, love grows to embrace the One who invites us to give up all and follow Him, as He becomes the Sacrificial Lamb, as He lays down His life and becomes our death, as He conquers all and becomes our King we are nurtured in love and grown to love even the Cross because we received  and love The Baby.  Isn’t it beautiful that we are not asked to receive the love of God as manifest on the torturous Cross first? No, first we are invited to receive the Love of God, drawn, warmed, joyful as a baby.  Who (but the most self centered heart) can refuse a baby?  A baby draws our attention, moves our heart, and gives us joy without noticeable effort on our part. He just does.  And when we receive and love The Baby, we begin the journey of knowing and thereby loving God.  My heart this Christmas, is that we would all embrace The Baby, receive anew The Gift, be drawn, moved, filled with joy – God’s Son – given for you and me.   Merry Christmas!

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Christ, The King!

Sunday, November 25, 2018 I preached at Wilmore Anglican Church from John 18.  This is what I shared.

33 Then Pilate entered the headquarters again, summoned Jesus, and asked him, ‘Are you the King of the Jews?’  As I sat with this scripture, I recognized myself in Pilate.  This passage begins with Pilate entering the headquarters and summoning Jesus. He asks Him:  “Are you the King of the Jews?”

I know this is a play on words, but what struck me as I listened was that Pilate entered the headquarters.  I, too, approach Jesus from my “head” quarters.  We live mostly In our heads, don’t we? We relate from our own reasoning, according to our own complex, fiercely defended perceptions.  Pilate summoned Jesus from there. And because of the humility of Jesus, He came.  Understand Jesus was in complete control of the situation. The King of Heaven, Whose throne was established from of old, allowed Himself to be summoned by an unbelieving government official.  The temporary summoning the eternal, the least summoning the greatest, what kind of King is this?  His humility undoes me.

I wonder how much I do the same.  From my head quarters, I have a problem I can’t figure out.  My reasoning, my intellect falling short, I summon Jesus to come and fix it. True intimacy with God will grow respect, awe and humility that One so great, would stoop so low.  If it doesn’t, we might need to pause and consider why not.  Let’s not be cavalier with our relationship with God.  He is so kind and humble and He overlooks for love thousands of offense, but let’s not take that for granted or presume upon His grace. He is the King of all and the created does not summon the Uncreated. Let’s ask, invite, welcome, but we dare not summon. Noticing the nuances of our heart is important.

But, Jesus didn’t look like much of a king that day.  He certainly didn’t match Pilates idea of a king.  Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king?”  meaning an earthly king; a king by his definition.

34 Jesus answered, ‘Do you ask this on your own, or did others tell you about me?’ We all have a complex structure of habits, attitudes, and perceptions; patterns of reaction and responses to the world we have built over time called the false self that imprisons and limits us.  Pilate operating from behind his false self was confronted by Jesus. I love this about Jesus:  When you are face to face with Jesus, He is present to you regardless of the circumstances.  He had been captured and was on His way to a grueling death, and yet He saw Pilate. He loved Pilate. I believe Pilate had His full attention.  He wanted to know Pilate and for Pilate to know Him.  He is ever searching for the lost.  That’s beautiful to me.  Very kingly.  He didn’t get off mission once. In other words, Jesus was asking, “Where are you, Pilate?  What do you believe about Me?  Is there an authentic desire to know Who I am or just vain curiosity spawned by second-hand sources?”  He was calling to Pilate.  My mentor used to say: “Be a first hander with God, Jo.” Don’t have a second-hand relationship.  Jesus wants the same.  He wants a personal, first-hand relationship with Pilate and with us.

35 Pilate replied, ‘I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me. What have you done?’ Notice how Pilate deflected the question.  “I am not a Jew am I?” Your own nation and chief priests (your kingdom and rulers) have betrayed you, they have handed you over to me.  You don’t have rule of your own kingdom!  What have you done?  How have you lost control?  (Do you hear the confusion coming from his “head” quarters?)

It’s easier to say what you’re not than to consider what you are when challenged.  And it’s easier to put the focus back on Jesus than to allow Him to penetrate our false self.  (I know this by personal experience. I’m pretty good at deflection!) Jesus was lovingly, challenging Pilate to consider his own heart. Pilate was not ready to be probed perhaps.  He deflected and his lack of self awareness, hindered his opportunity for God awareness. There is a connection, you know, between self awareness and God awareness.

Have you had days like that with Jesus, when He didn’t look like much of a king?  I have. I’ve in essence asked Jesus the same thing at times.  “Are You the King?”  or “Aren’t You the King?” Implying that if He is really a King, why didn’t He answer my prayer? Or why did He allow such a hurtful thing to happen to me?  Why haven’t you (fill in the blank) if you’re the King?  

In 2005 Joel and I were to adopt a little boy.  He was half Native American and half African American.  We wanted him so.  He was to be born the end of July.  Just before his due date, I was taking a group of 30 people to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, for a week of specialized training.  It was a big deal for us and had taken a lot of planning, coordination and work to put it together.  I was excited about it, but even more so, from there, I was traveling to Tulsa, OK to be with the birth mom for delivery.  We had the nursery ready, the clothes bought, everything was set.  I couldn’t wait.  The day before we were to leave for the trip, I got a call that he had been stillborn.  I was devastated. “What! How could this be? Where was the King?”  I felt like I had to lead the trip and follow through with all that we had planned for the group.  So the next morning, per schedule, I got in my truck, loaded with bags and people and headed to Kansas City in a caravan.  I was numb. It’s a blessing to lead a praying community, but when suffering comes, how much more so. I know I was carried on the prayers of everyone there.  The next morning in Kansas City, I got up early and went to the prayer room.  It was the first time I was really able to even face what had just happened.  As I stood in the atmosphere of prayer and worship created by our bothers and sisters there, I asked the basic question Pilate asked, but it came out more like:  “Why did you let this happen?  Aren’t you the King?  You could have made him live, what’s going on?”

I immediately “heard” in my spirit these words:  “Jo, I wanted him to be wanted.  I chose your heart to want him with Me.  I wanted him to be wanted.”

36 Jesus answered, ‘My kingdom is not from this world. If my kingdom were from this world, my followers would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not from here.’ As Jesus answered Pilate, I felt He answered me.  He says, “My kingdom is not from here.” I do things you know not of.

My expectations were confronted that day.  Not that they were wrong or bad, they just weren’t what the King wanted to do in my heart, dare I say, wanted to give me that day.  He was doing something of His heart and Kingdom and it superseded mine.  There is a Kingdom behind, beyond, uncreated and unending that operates on higher principles and truths that although fully functioning and working does not manifest as we would like or think it should. His Kingdom is not my idea of a kingdom.  He is not mans idea of a king.  I sensed Him saying, “It’s a different Kingdom, Jo.  You must trust Me as I trusted My Father.”  

We always have a choice.  Will we yield to Him, His ways, His Kingdom or hold onto our own? Beloved, we must quit trying to make His Kingdom fit our definition of what a kingdom looks like or what a king should be.  Until we let go of wanting it to fit our understanding, we won’t be able to receive His Kingdom or Kingship as it is.  Be reminded:  We are of a different Kingdom-not one forcefully taken or defended.  His Kingdom needs no defense.  Truth will triumph. He is King.  

All the sudden, that day, I realized “I’m in a different Kingdom.” There was a monumental clash somewhere deep within me, as I realized there is something much bigger going on here, than I know; a Kingdom at work much beyond the kingdom in my own little headquarters.  I received His heart that day for the unborn.  I yielded my own wants to His.  I think He wanted to share it with me.  He chose  to allow me to suffer the loss, to gain the love.  In a truly remarkable way, I felt blessed that day.  That makes no sense from the head quarters, but it’s true. That the King of the world wants the unborn so badly, He puts desire for one of them, in a clueless woman’s heart, so He can reveal His love for ALL of them to her and through her.  He’s an amazing King.

Well, I went to Tulsa after the training week.  And instead of getting to hold our little boy, I found myself at a cemetery office ordering and purchasing his marker.  I went to his unmarked grave and wept. And a few months later, I went back and marked him before God and all lesser powers, for all time.  His marker reads:  

Josiah David

WANTED AND LOVED SON

of 

Joel and Jo McKenzie

And I shouted it to earth and heaven that day with great faith in the heart of our King for all the unborn. I have learned intercession means so much more than I originally imagined.  In His Kingdom, this “not from here Kingdom,” our heartaches can become our gifts to a hurting world.  In surrender, He gifted me with His heart of desire for the unborn.  His huge heart of wanting them to be wanted, of loving them regardless of the means of their conception, the reality of their earthly rejection, or the brevity of their life. They matter to Him!  He gave that to me.  I can say with conviction to each one of you, He wants you.  No matter your background, no matter your circumstances, no matter your history, the heart of our King says “I want you. I desire you. I love you.” I proclaim over all the unborn babies not given the light of day, no matter the reason – the King of Glory wants you. So much so that He searches for those of His kingdom who will stand in the gap and in the face of temporary suffering embrace the eternal celebration awaiting in the Kingdom of God when He comes in His victory. 

I’ll take that Kingdom!  I think we see in this passage, His desire for the unborn Pilate.  He wants him too. His heart for the unborn is His heart for the unborn again.  How He desires more children!  That’s our KING!

What hardship have you suffered?  What are you enduring now?  What might God be birthing in you?  Can we see Jesus, King of glory at work now bringing His Kingdom, His heart, His will to earth as in heaven in us?

37 Pilate asked him, ‘So you are a king?’ Jesus answered, ‘You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice.’  What strikes me here, after Pilate again asks, “So you are a King?” is this:  “For this I was born.”

Jesus was born to be King!  He came into the world to be King of heaven and earth.  He was born to bring His already true, established, unchangeable, non-contestable Kingship to earth.  He was born to save the world from a would-be king whose way is force, deception, oppression, torture and abuse of power. The prince of the power of the air is not king although he wants people to think so. No Ruler, Dictator, Prime Minister, Chief or President is king. I am not king and neither are you.  No kingdom will stand against His Kingdom.  Revelation 11 tells us that at the seventh trumpet blast “the kingdom of the world has become the Kingdom of our Lord and of His Messiah, and He will reign forever and ever.”  We have a King,  a glorious King.  A King Whose Kingdom is secure and will manifest in righteousness in the world.  His True followers hear His voice and follow His lead.  We will not fight as the world fights.  We will not rant and rave, scream and defend as the world does.  We will surrender and lay down our lives and let the truth of His Kingship be revealed to us, that it might be released through us.

We need to be reminded that our God and Savior is King. THE KING over and above all lesser kings. Let the world hear, Christ, The King! Christ, The King! Christ, The King! The One Who has conquered all sin, all evil, all wickedness, all iniquities, even our last enemy death, by the laying down of His life, the complete shedding of His blood, and by the sinless self giving of Himself in love is King. He took the way of surrender, obedience, humility. He embraced pain, loss, betrayal, injustice and seeming defeat to do so, but make no mistake; be not deceived, this Suffering Servant, our Sacrificial Lamb has conquered, and due to His unsearchable patience and not wanting anyone to perish, He has restrained His hand but He is coming again and will bring to earth the full manifestation of His Kingship.  Every eye will see Him.  Every knee will bow.  Every tongue will confess Him.  Jesus King of kings and Lord of lords! I don’t know about You but that thrills me! Pay attention, beloved, our King is coming soon!

Amen.